THE WORLD NEEDS EXTRAORDINARY FAMILIES
IF YOU'RE MARRIAGE HAS REACHED A 'BREAKING POINT' -- HURRAY!
FINALLY, A CHANCE FOR CHANGE
(This conversation is continued from the previous page/video about 'Fixing Marriage Problems 'Upstream' at Their Source'.)
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All of us come into marriage bringing 'stuff'.
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We all have our issues.
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You or your spouse may have brought some stuff that's pretty painful.
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Depression. Anxiety. Food addictions. Sex addictions (or an indifference or resistance to sex).
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Maybe you or your spouse have money issues, are disorganized and chaotic, never have fun or are 'numb', or have a bad relationship with your parents or your in-laws.
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There are a lot of legitimately difficult circumstances you may be dealing with that are 'lowering your number' and adding stress to your marriage.
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And while you can't force your spouse to change....
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You CAN draw a line and establish some boundaries as to what you will or will not put up with (while you're working on 'bringing the tide'.)
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This is your life, and you have to be willing to have those hard conversations (when necessary) to let your spouse know that 'enough is enough'.
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We're often afraid that setting a 'hard line' will bring our marriage to a breaking point.
It's that scary.
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And it's true.
Drawing a boundary, setting a standard, and having those hard conversations MIGHT lead to a breaking point.
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But we shouldn't be afraid of the breaking point.
The breaking point can often become a pivot for change or improvement.
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But if you never establish that 'hard line' you're likely to continue on your downward slippery slope toward divorce.
The problem many couples have is that there vision of life together is focused DOWN...
It's on all the problems and pain and issues. On what's going wrong.
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But change only happens by focusing on the future -- on what you want to go right.
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What is it you want to create -- together, as a couple?
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What hopes and dreams do you want to share?
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What big, noble aims do you want to achieve?
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This is what unites couples together.
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Figuring out how to pay the bills or fix the leaky toilet isn't exciting or sexy.
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That's a 'transactional' relationship. It deals with the 'transactions' of running a family and home.
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And it doesn't seem to be worth the effort of 'saving', especially since so much work is involved.
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What we really want (and NEED, on a psychological level) is to share a big, exciting, adventure with someone we are passionately in love with (and who loves us in return).
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That's worth fighting for.
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That's worth fixing.
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And doing it is simple, because it starts by taking one small step in the right direction.
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You can't change your destination overnight ---
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-- i.e. from unhappily married to happily married.
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But you CAN change your direction --
Up instead of down; forward instead of back.
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Here are 9 simple ways to change direction starting today:
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Make a list when/if you're irritated with your spouse of all the things you are grateful for about them and all the things they do that make you smile or that they do well... even if the only thing you can think of is "They are good at breathing."
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Create a marriage VISION. How do you want your marriage to FEEL? Write a new story on your own (more about how to do this in a minute...)
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Then share your story with your spouse and create one together to 'sync up'. Make sure to do this the right way (more on that in a minute).
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Rediscover your dreams, goals, and the things that excite you both. Working toward them together will create FASTER change in your marriage.
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If you think your spouse WON'T or CAN'T change then you must identify and eliminate false beliefs... your own and theirs (it's simpler than you think).
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Your spouse CAN'T make you happy (and you shouldn't expect them to). Learning how to create your own happiness will lead to more happiness in your marriage. (I'll explain how.)
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Learn to understand the opposite sex (you MUST do this if you want a truly extraordinary marriage -- and it IS possible with the right information).
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Start 'dating' again to bring back the passion and spark of romance.
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Remind yourself daily, if you're not consistently working on your marriage, then you're automatically working on your DIVORCE... don't let that happen.
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These 9 ideas are a great way to 'change direction'.
We created 9 videos that expound on each one of them, helping you address and solve the 'upstream' problems in your marriage.
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We will email you one video per day to your inbox and your marriage could start improving by next week. No joke.
Click the button below to get these 9 videos sent to your inbox -- one video per day!
